I've been waiting for Z and I saved him for last.
What's not to love and hate about Zeus??
1) First, he's like THE KING of all the Greek Gods and the FATHER of all Men!
He drew lots with his two other brothers- Poseidon and Hades- and basically got the straw that said, "Ruler of the Gods and Heavens" instead of "Ruler of the Oceans" or "Ruler of the Underworld". Lucky guy, eh? :)
2) He has the biggest throne on Mount Olympus.
3) He is the God of Sky and thunder and his best attack is to throw thunderbolts when upset! (I mean, really, who among us, when mad, hasn't wished for THAT power??)
4) His mother saved him from being eaten by his father, Cronus (who ate most of his children in an attempt to forgo being overthrown by his children). His mother Rhea, handed Cronus a swaddled rock baby and pawned it off as Zeus, and stupid Cronus ate that instead. (burp).
5) Zeus was either raised by the Earth Mother Gaia...
Or by goats....
Or by nymphs...
and really, if you think about it....any one or all of those possibilities is fecking kewl.
6) Zeus got up in Cronus's face and ordered his father to barf back up the stone that was him at birth and then to barf back up all his brothers and sisters OR Zeus threatened that he would cut open Cronus's stomach and physically remove them.
Zeus owned and reigned over his father in the end.
7) Zeus fucked everything. I swear, if you look him up, you NEED A damn CHART to see who he fathered by whom. And BONUS! He fathered Ares, Apollo, Artemis, Hermes, Athena, Castor, Pollux, Helen of Troy, and Heracles for starters! He also is said to have fathered Dionysius and Nymphs. He fathered NYMPHS...as most wild fathers do....
(And yes...I'd so bang him too....)
(I adore Hera too by the way. She fecking ROCKS! :)
9) He was the God of Oaths and the Punisher of Liars and the Wicked.
(Don't ya love the irony here after so many affairs and his oath to Hera?? He's the God of OATHS and Punisher of LIARS. Wow. Takes one to know one, eh? :)
10) It is said that Zeus started AND ended the Trojan War...just for FUN...and was personally responsible for casting the Golden Apple of Discord that started the 3 Greek Goddesses and their row over who was the fairest....(hey, just a little fun for the Gods on a slow day in Olympus)
What a hottie!
What an asshole.
You rocked the Greek world....and you still rock mine.