Wednesday, January 4, 2012

StoryBook Club~ Trolls!

My StoryBook Club took a turn off the beaten path last night (Oh how like us :)
and went into the dangerous woods to find Trolls!
Trolls come to us from Scandanavian Folklore and we learned much about them!

One thing is they don't like Church bells. They can "Smell the blood of a Christian Man."
(They are NOT Christian. ...altho, we are not sure how they feel about other religions. :)

Of course, they don't like people much either....except broiled, baked or stewed.
(Hmmmm.....maybe Jeffrey Dahmer was a troll...) Yes, they eat people. And like Tazmanian devils, they eat almost everything else, including car tires, carpeting and fence posts, and they even eat rocks and stone. They have diamond teeth.

We, how'ere, enjoyed our dinner of  Dwarf Chili, Monkey Man Bread, Boiled dinner, Hot bread from the hearth, Trollhouse Cookies and Rock Candy. Here is our table centerpiece, complete with bridge, a sheep and many trolls.
We are a group of big people (I hesitate to say "grownups" :) that meet once a month to discuss Children's Literature. We dig into the "Theme of the Month" and eat and drink and swear and are very upfront with our discussions.

We learned this month that:

Trolls like to be aloof, solitary for the most part when it comes to people  but Trolls are social tho, and live in communal groups. You don't want to see their wives, the hulda. Mean MOTHERFUCKERS. But you would be too, if your gestational period to carry your ugly baby troll was TEN to FIFTEEN YEARS!

Real trolls don't have gems in their navel. They have YOU in their navel!

One thing I learned about trolls is that while they are born with one head, as they get older they grow other heads....but they aren't real heads, just proturbances.

And they STINK.

BAD.

They are Nocturnal creatures and when they see the sunlight they calcify and turn to STONE.
(Much like the Nocturnal Vampires we studied back in July).

They are the evil that lurks in the hearts and minds of men. Ask the Shadow. He knows.

Trolls are of very little brain, big, burly and full of malice.

When courting, the male troll hits the female troll over the head with a rock. (They taught the caveman this trick. By the way....do you know WHY a caveman drags his woman by the hair? Because if they dragged them by their feet, they'd just fill up with dirt. :)

They do have a worship of some Norse Troll Gods, but when their Gods favor you, they hit you over the head with a rock.

When your troll baby does a good thing, the parents hit them over the head with a rock.

They do have a numbering system. It is based on 4. One, two, three, (4) many and (16) lots.

There are Cave Trolls, Mountain Trolls, Forest Trolls, Rindlefinches, Huldars, Trolls that look like humans (brings me back to Jeffrey Dahmer again...) and HUMONGOUS trolls the Jotnar.
Can you say HUGE TOM????????
He's 200 ft. tall.
That's a 20 story BUILDING!!

Also, you know the BIG high voltage power lines you see sometimes along the road? Well....
they aren't for what you THINK.
They are an electric fence to keep Jotnar TROLLS at bay.

And after viewing the movie "Trollhunter" I think those power lines ROCK.


Check out this movie, "Trollhunter" page....click here!

So...
what do Trolls teach us?

There are those in this world that ARE mean spirited, will NEVER change, have only single minded thoughts of self fulfillment and use their burly nature to focus on their own needs and just TAKE from life.
And when the Sunlight (truth) falls upon them...instead of changing for good, they turn into stone.
(Probably metaphorically speaking in your life or in yours or their heart)
but either way, they are affected and stopped somehow. 

If anything, the troll helps us with Darwin's idea of Survival of the Fittest.

So, if you see one?

RUN.
HIDE.
Or KILL IT but for God's sake don't invite it to dinner.

Cuz it WILL be YOU.

Snip, Snap, Snout!
This tale's told out!

1 comment:

sgeneralgrievous said...

I recently saw troll hunter. That was a great movie! It's funny you mentioned it. This was great, I will definitely be coming back.