Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Life's Leavings~

For my first magickal "L" word for the weekly Pagan Blog Project, I would like to chat about:

 "Life's Leavings".

I've been toying with this phrase for awhile, and have even considered it as a book title. But now I see that it's already been a book title...(and not by me :)

Of this phrase I am harkened back to many moments of my life from early to just recently past.....and I've mulled it all over.
Maybe you have too....

It brings us to this question: 

Where has life left you?

Of all the things you've gone through, learned, amassed the information of, gathered, were inspired by, were bequeathed, pieced together, and sung...what is it that you are left with?

It's YOU.

You NOW. 

You can go anywhere from here and look at all the places you've been! 
You couldn't be at this place any other time except by going through all that former stuff. 

Life's leavings are the day to day experiences that get quilted in to your day. Some embroidered, some tatty, some of plain old muslim and some of brocade.

Some of us have a lot of shite in our pasts. 

 We need to analyze it...and let it go. 
We need to calm down, breathe, move forward with what we've learned,
and make up the next story for ourselves. 

I am not here for you to approve of. That's not my job. Oh, I have no doubt that I'm not everyone's cup of tea. I'm sure that I shock some of you, anger some, are tasteless for some, draw pity from some and admiration from some.

And that's ok. 
What I know is that I'm here from those that I can touch by being me. The me that gives advice, is sometimes politically incorrect, out there trying new things, loving, being both wise & equally fool-hearty, brave and chicken-shit.  When we show our vulnerablity, there are those who would stab it or scoff it.  But it is for those who are also going through something similiar, that find truth in the meaning of what we do, and hang onto the beacon of who we are, or represent, liken unto twine for a drowning man.

We deal the deck we are given.

We all have our own tales to tell.
I, for one, have narrowly escaped the gaping jaw of destruction as a child from the hands of a serial killer, kept my faith in the heavens despite Parochial school and the nuns,  I courted-yet avoided- the trap of several addictions without succumbing,  I have adored a narcissist, I put myself in places where angels have feared to tread. 

And yet, I am still here. 
No, I am not invincible. 

Say what you need to say.
Do what you need to do.
You are the only one with the life banks, memory, aptitude and ability to do what you can do with all that information. 

So chill out, be yourself, and bask in the glow of what you've accomplished, who you are, who you know, what you've gone through, and you are the only one who can do what you can do, with all of that accumulated stuff and information!

I thought of it this way: 

I was musing to myself and thought of a love. Albeit a disfunctional past love... and I thought about him and said to myself: "I survived you. But then again... I'm not allergic to poison ivy either." 

Hello. Here am I.
And there you are.
We are Resilient.
And that's really what life's leavings teaches us, isn't it?



Etain said...

Excellent post. I really enjoyed reading this.

Mary Mc said...

What an appropriate time for me to read this one dear Merlyn! Me own demons crawled out of the woodwork just this week, manifested by the actions of a former friend... such a sad thing to say, but true none-the-less.... it is so hard to keep things in perspective when my own past actions are haunting me and confidences in someone I trusted were betrayed. Have to keep reminding myself that the betrayal is hurtful and sad but the demon is mine, I created it, she did not.