"...First Do No Harm"

"and it harm none,  do what ye will" is the Wiccan Rede.  It is a goodly statement and one that a role model worth following.

Harry & I watched one of the movies in my Netflix queue last night, called "...First Do No Harm". 
It reminded me of the Wiccan Rede as it applies to medicine and dealings in real life.

Meryl Streep played the role of a mother who becomes her child's advocate as he develops Epilepsy. This wonderfully balanced little boy starts having seizures and then it quickly develops into Grand Mal "episodes". The medical community takes them down the path of one drug and procedure after another, leading down a rabbit hole of confusion, more seizures, and bankruptcy for the family.

The mother does what ANY good mother would do. She starts researching and studying and ends up taking her child OUT of the medical system and into the world of Alternative cures with the "If-y" Ketogenic diet. Guess what happens?

He's CURED. And what is most amazing about this movie too, is that MANY of the supportive characters in the flick had also had Epilepsy and taken the Ketogenic diet and ALSO had been cured!

This movie really affected me.

Why?

Because I had Epilepsy.
Most of you may not know this, but when I was about 13 I started having "Petit Mal" episodes too.

I started having high fevers, walking blacking outs and having SEVERE migraines. I, too,  wound up at the hospital having several EEGs (electroencephalographs)  and I also had a Brain Scan (this was the early 70's and I was given nuclear medicine intravenously and laid out on a gurney with the top of my head touching a large metal x-ray device while lead aprons were laid out over my entire body from neck down). Pretty scary.

I was diagnosed with Petit Mall Epilepsy. They said it is "quite common in teenage girls". But that didn't help my psyche much. I was put on Dilantin and then Philantin (Dilantin and Phenobarbitol together).

Reading about it now, I just told Harry what it said about some of the side effects on this website: "You may have thoughts about suicide while taking Dilantin". 

Well, that explains a lot of my teenage angst and pits of despair, now doesn't it?

In my life to date, unbeknownst to me, I have emulated the Ketogenic Diet in my life by incorporating a Yoga diet, repeated fasting periods and also using the Atkins diet into my life at certain times of my life. Yes, I acted out in ways in my life that may have caused me harm. But also, in using my feelings and listening to my God given intuition, I have also medicated myself in ways that helped to heal me as well, and keep me on a path that was good for me.

I have been off medications for epilepsy for about 35 years. I didn't even know about this "Ketogenic Diet" at all, but have put elements of it, into my life and diet, off and on for many years!

This knowledge, and the info I found in my favorite book of health: 
"You Can Heal Your Life" , by Louise Hay has reinforced something amazing to me.

She has included this disease and it's underlying psychological impact and healing affirmation in her book as follows.

Epilepsy: 

Underlying reason: Running away from the self, family or from life.

Healing Affirmation: I am AT HOME in the Universe. I am safe and secure and understood.

In combining all this info, and recently delving into my past with my memoir writing, I have come to a GREAT TRUTH and conclusion.

My epilepsy came on shortly after a close neighbor in my community was put into jail for murdering children.
I now understand that I internalized my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in my way of dealing with this awful series of unfortunate events. You see, this serial killer, Arthur Shawcross, and I (and my family) had several interactions around this time, and yet I was somehow spared, I LIVED, and my family came out safe in the end, too.

The other 2 children and the many women he killed did not have such a happy ending.

I have been extremely blessed and protected.
I do not know why.
But believe me, I AM GRATEFUL.

So, all I can say to you folks out there, is this.
We are amazing human beings.
We are survivors.
We are able to internalize messages and if we are lucky enough to deal with them, we can grow from them.

What does not kill us makes us stronger.

I would say, First....and Last.....DO NO HARM. 


Catch this movie if you can.

Merlyn's Love List~

Magick comes in all forms. Love being the most magical of all.

My friend, Lynn, posted some of her loves for this week, and I think that it's good to just appreciate and enjoy what IS. If the newscasters would only forecast GOOD news, (and keep us updated on what we have to know that is bad, but only in smaller doses) we'd have a happier world, less depressed people and more grateful population.

It's a Law of Attraction thing.

So here goes my "Love List" for this week~

I am loving my Harry for doing what he's been doing, sorting out some of his clutter, doing taxes and being a really sweet man to me. He even bought pizza and wings last night. A treat that I haven't had in awhile.

I am loving being with my friends on Facebook, sometimes it makes me laugh so much, and the connection feels so fun and good.

I love my dear friend who writes stories with me, in real life and fantasy. I love to write. I love making up stories, poems, and I appreciate reading and absorb and sponge it all up. I like squeezing it back to you in drips too :)

I love lust and being accepted for who I am and what I need and what I am capable of giving.

I loved going to see "Wrath of the Titans" this week, and sitting there and just enjoying the moment with a dear friend.

I love my doggy, Monty so much. He is so silly and smart. He smells so good. I kiss him everyday.

I am loving my time "alone" this week and am treating myself to a pattern book oggling at Joanne Fabrics this afternoon to make a fantasy Victorian lace gown. Someday. It will all start with the perfect pattern. I intend to research and seek it out. Today.

I am loving my friend Lorie O'Donnell SO much. She is kindred to me, and I am so much enjoying the CD, by "Luminere" that she gave me. In particular the versions of "Come All Ye Fair and Tender Ladies" and "Wayfaring Stranger" that we do, but I enjoy these versions very much. I am looking forward to our "play day" this weekend with her and her mate. Movies, wine, food and laughter is on the menu.

I am loving my grey hair coming in. I feel it deepens me and I am aware that I am aging and I am loving growing in all forms. I am becoming a wise old woman.

I am loving the sunshine and good weather!

I am loving cooking again. Food is a wonderful, joyous thing, and cooking with love is a magical creation. The eating of it is a joyful boon.


I am loving my poetry and am honored to be picked to read this Friday night at a local museum at the Annual Spring Poetry Reading, featuring local poets and writers.

I am loving my two girls, Jesse & Shawna who give to me their love, devotion and acceptance of their crazy mother.

I am also loving the Open Mics that we do, the crowd of fun musicians and audience it draws and the friendships that have developed over the years. I am truly blessed.

I love my guitar and drum, first and foremost and always will. They are like breathing to me. I cannot live without them.

And I love you for reading my stuff.

THANK YOU.