What is My Life Purpose?

It's been a batch of beautiful days and ones in which finds me searching for my next move. My kids are grown, many of my life's goals and dreams have been accomplished, I've just had another birthday...and it all makes me wonder the big question:

"Why am I here?" For what purpose are we to be accomplishing? Life should have meaning and more than just your "to-do" list and outings and work and chores.

I've been reading a pretty great book called, "Now What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction" by Laura Bergman Fortgang. It's very interesting and I'm trying to do the exercises in the book as I read along.

One of the most interesting (and involved) exercises is to make a Time Line for your life so far. Starting at birth, you note important events/memories/markers in *bullets (to keep it simple and less wordy).

A daunting task? Well, it did take me a couple of days. Memories would be complete and then I would remember something else and put that in. My advice would be to do it in a word document or use a lot of paper with spaces in between and a pencil with an eraser. You will find that you think you have it "done" and then you will get something triggered in your brain that you need to add.

I have found many interesting things about myself.

One thing is this: that during times of great distress (my father's death/mother's death, etc)....I have also had to grieve the death of one of my pets AT THE SAME TIME. The pets died due to health reason or hit by a car or some sort of tragic end at the same time that I was grieving a death of another loved one.

Pretty harsh reality there. I've had to go through some grievous life moments and they were doubled it seems in tragedy at the time.

I've also realized that of all the obstacles that I've overcome, I seem to help others or at least have been a solid support and lighthouse for others in some way.

I am an ENCOURAGER.

I believe that my art, music and hands-on personality style is a gift that does help others.

Helping others to grow and heal seems to be my life purpose.

I have attracted.... and been attracted to.... people that have needed me for some reason. To grow, to learn, to be supported or propped up in a time of need. And they help me too.

There have been some folks that I have had a hard time letting go of, because of their psychic thread or emotional attachments to me or that I have had attached to them in not wanting them to fall or fail again. I care. It matters to me what happens on my watch.

But at some point in time, I do let them go, to sink or swim, having imparted what I can to them and I hope for the best. There will be new folks for me to mother and help to guide and as a loving friend, I have no doubt.

I think my LIFE PURPOSE is that I am supposed to be:

 a Kindred Heart that soothes with Love and Music.

Someone who lifts spirits with humor.....who takes herself lightly...

 Someone who has arms for a much needed hug or touch....

or to simply acknowledge their presence, their gifts.

I will continue working with this book, and looking inward to see how I can continue to be a help to others, to YOU, and I know that my music is a big part of it and will continue to be.

Who knows?

Maybe I'll end up as an advice columnist or a traveling lecturer....have guitar, will travel :)

I'm still learning, but at least now I feel like I know I'm on the right path, going in the right direction....
to get to where the Gods need me to go.

So now, I ask you......

What is your life purpose?

Talk to me, I'm here to help :)

"...First Do No Harm"

"and it harm none,  do what ye will" is the Wiccan Rede.  It is a goodly statement and one that a role model worth following.

Harry & I watched one of the movies in my Netflix queue last night, called "...First Do No Harm". 
It reminded me of the Wiccan Rede as it applies to medicine and dealings in real life.

Meryl Streep played the role of a mother who becomes her child's advocate as he develops Epilepsy. This wonderfully balanced little boy starts having seizures and then it quickly develops into Grand Mal "episodes". The medical community takes them down the path of one drug and procedure after another, leading down a rabbit hole of confusion, more seizures, and bankruptcy for the family.

The mother does what ANY good mother would do. She starts researching and studying and ends up taking her child OUT of the medical system and into the world of Alternative cures with the "If-y" Ketogenic diet. Guess what happens?

He's CURED. And what is most amazing about this movie too, is that MANY of the supportive characters in the flick had also had Epilepsy and taken the Ketogenic diet and ALSO had been cured!

This movie really affected me.

Why?

Because I had Epilepsy.
Most of you may not know this, but when I was about 13 I started having "Petit Mal" episodes too.

I started having high fevers, walking blacking outs and having SEVERE migraines. I, too,  wound up at the hospital having several EEGs (electroencephalographs)  and I also had a Brain Scan (this was the early 70's and I was given nuclear medicine intravenously and laid out on a gurney with the top of my head touching a large metal x-ray device while lead aprons were laid out over my entire body from neck down). Pretty scary.

I was diagnosed with Petit Mall Epilepsy. They said it is "quite common in teenage girls". But that didn't help my psyche much. I was put on Dilantin and then Philantin (Dilantin and Phenobarbitol together).

Reading about it now, I just told Harry what it said about some of the side effects on this website: "You may have thoughts about suicide while taking Dilantin". 

Well, that explains a lot of my teenage angst and pits of despair, now doesn't it?

In my life to date, unbeknownst to me, I have emulated the Ketogenic Diet in my life by incorporating a Yoga diet, repeated fasting periods and also using the Atkins diet into my life at certain times of my life. Yes, I acted out in ways in my life that may have caused me harm. But also, in using my feelings and listening to my God given intuition, I have also medicated myself in ways that helped to heal me as well, and keep me on a path that was good for me.

I have been off medications for epilepsy for about 35 years. I didn't even know about this "Ketogenic Diet" at all, but have put elements of it, into my life and diet, off and on for many years!

This knowledge, and the info I found in my favorite book of health: 
"You Can Heal Your Life" , by Louise Hay has reinforced something amazing to me.

She has included this disease and it's underlying psychological impact and healing affirmation in her book as follows.

Epilepsy: 

Underlying reason: Running away from the self, family or from life.

Healing Affirmation: I am AT HOME in the Universe. I am safe and secure and understood.

In combining all this info, and recently delving into my past with my memoir writing, I have come to a GREAT TRUTH and conclusion.

My epilepsy came on shortly after a close neighbor in my community was put into jail for murdering children.
I now understand that I internalized my PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) in my way of dealing with this awful series of unfortunate events. You see, this serial killer, Arthur Shawcross, and I (and my family) had several interactions around this time, and yet I was somehow spared, I LIVED, and my family came out safe in the end, too.

The other 2 children and the many women he killed did not have such a happy ending.

I have been extremely blessed and protected.
I do not know why.
But believe me, I AM GRATEFUL.

So, all I can say to you folks out there, is this.
We are amazing human beings.
We are survivors.
We are able to internalize messages and if we are lucky enough to deal with them, we can grow from them.

What does not kill us makes us stronger.

I would say, First....and Last.....DO NO HARM. 


Catch this movie if you can.

Avalon

Avalon.
It is the stuff of legends.
Thru the mists we peer trying to discern our way to see the glory of the natural world of the Goddess, the Lady of the Lake and Arthurian legends.

Why do we love Avalon so?

Because we want to believe in a place of pure Magick and Earthly wisdom, with a Goddess Mother Earth that provides and a society that cares for us.

Avalon means "Isle of Apples", a place of the Feminine Divine.

If you cut an apple in half horizontally, you will find a pentacle at it's core.

 An apple a day keeps the doctor away they say.  Why? Because apples are a healing food.

 Interestingly enough, the apple and women have always been entwined haven't they?
Women have long been the kitchen witches, the healers of home, health, family and community.

Look at poor Eve. Maligned, methinks.
She only wanted Knowledge. They say that the snake gave her that.
Was it wrong for her to take it?

Some say aye.
Some say nay.

The snake in Christian writings is supposed to be evil.
But in many cultures, the snake is GOOD. Very GOOD. The snake is Kundalini power of sexuality, earth knowledge and knowledge of SELF. Guardianship, healing, fertility, awareness and most especially, transformation. These are not things to be afraid of!

 The Isle of Apples, Avalon, as a symbol, along with the snake and apple, brings us a bushel full of knowledge!
Knowledge of Earth wisdom.
Knowledge of Self.
Knowledge of the Universe and the grand scheme.

We desire to LEARN.

We want to know the OLD WAYS.

The ways of discernment of the stars, God's good foods and herbs, special powers, communal living.

The magic Isle of Avalon is where the famous sword Excalibur was forged.

Avalon, is where the Lady of Lake reigns under the guidance of the Goddess.

It is said that the monks found the burial site of Arthur, King of the Britains here!

This is where Guenivere went to the Abbey after parting ways with her love for Lancelot and as a sanctuary from fleeing her seat as Queen. A Queen with two lovers in her life. She fled to the Church in the end, but she should've walked proudly to Avalon instead. A place where a woman has rights for her own sexuality and her beliefs of Love.

This is where Glastonbury Tor now stands and where the legend still lives on.

So much Magick here!

This is a realm for the Fae....Avalon, where no ploughs need to work and the Earth produces of itself and there is no need of want....

Morgan Le Fay and Merlin.

Arthur came to Avalon after the Battle of Camlann to be healed from his wounds here
.
This is where a tree that blooms only on Christmas day!

French historical stories of this place include the resting place of the Holy Grail~(no wonder no one has found it!)
If you are into Mary Magdalene lore, this is where the Goddess also comes into play. The Divine Feminine. Some say that the Grail cup was the vessel that Joseph of Arimathea captured drops of the healing blood of the dying Jesus in.
Joseph, it is said, brought the cup to Avalon for safe keeping.

The Divine Feminine can also be embodied in the child of Jesus thru Mary Magdalene. We are all children of God. Too long have we been denied our Mother Goddess. We need a mother. Someone to guide us, help us, feed us, LOVE us. Hold us in the warmth of her protection.

Avalon teaches us to embrace our Divinity through Earth Magick and thru the Divine Feminine.

Avalon keeps King Arthur there, sleeping peacfully until the day he is needed again.

Avalon....
Isle of Apples.

Apples of Knowledge.....
Apples of Sensuality....
Apples of Lore....

So many, many lovely apples :)